James bribing Remus to talk him up to Lily on their prefect rounds by spelling Remus’ pocket to produce a chocolate frog every time he compliments James. Remus taking advantage of the situation almost immediately because chocolate?
“Lily have you ever noticed how James’ eyes just seem to gleam in the moonlight? Oh you’ve never seen James’ beautiful eyes in the moonlight? You should get on to that.”
“Yes, Pads, that was very impressive… Not as impressive as James though— ouch!”
“Professor, the answer is James Potter because he is everything.”
“Take your shirt off, Potter! What? It’s quidditch, not a bloody church… Sorry Professor McGonagall.”
“What the hell do you mean I have to try harder? Its only the bloody morning, she’s not going to fall in love with you over the course of one breakfast! Fucking fine, ahem, JAMES POTTER HAS THE BIGGEST, MOST GLORIOUS GENETALIA OF ANY I HAVE EVER SEE—mrphff.”
And then everyone getting so confused because “Wait, James likes Lily? I thought he was dating Remus?”
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